A little bit of background first:
I've had easy labors, easy pregnancies (or what i would assume to be typical.) My thought process from my first pregnancy to my last has VASTLY changed. My opinion on the medical world as a whole has changed since then. That is a whole other conversation though.
I've birthed twice-medicated- (without too many interventions) before my homebirth. Now that I am able to compare all three experiences I can honestly say I would to labor and birth unmedicated again.
Not only for the quick recovery i experienced, but the alertness afterwards, the ability to remember my story (the boys' are quite foggy.) trusting my body to do what it was made to do was empowering and in a strange way- freeing.
I left my OBGYN's office at 6 months pregnant extremely frustrated and was on the hunt for a midwife. After finding zero I fully trusted with what i expected to be a life changing experience, i asked a friend from church if she would do the honors. She accepted. Pat and i took Bradley Method classes with a group of expecting parents at Amber's home (highly recommend) and after completing those We both were fully confident in my ability to labor at home. Having Pat's full support and encouragement played a crucial role in building confidence and trust in myself and my body. Also reading any of Ina May Gaskin's work and writings.
Now onto the story.
Tuesday, the day before Ruby's arrival and a few days after her "due date", I decided not to go to work. I didn't know why at that moment but I knew that I needed that day to myself. I scrubbed down what was left of my To-Do List, organized and reorganized our birthing kit and bedroom and collected my boys from school. I felt that excitedness of Early Labor and knew I was going to meet Ruby (who's name we did not reveal until after her arrival.) with in 24 hours.
Since we we're coming up on the end of January, one of my best friends and I packed up the boys and headed to an indoor mall to walk. Towards the end of our mall adventures I knew I was not going to be sleeping much that night. Grabbing dinner and saying good bye to my friend We headed home to get ready for bed and the following school day.
i tried my hardest to sleep but when your body is prepping to run a marathon minus the running nonsense, sleep is fairly alluding. JERK. I ended up cat napping through out the night and walking our stairs when I couldn't. By the time the boys we're awake and moving for school (we we're having to drive them to a town about 30 minutes away due to a custody agreement involving our move closer to civilization.) I was in full blown Active Labor. Thank the Lord Pat took the boys to school that morning because i wasn't in any condition to drive. I'm fairly certain I showered that entire hour he was gone because it just felt GOOD. Not before calling the mid wife, of course.
I didn't take into thought my high pain tolerance when thinking about where exactly I was in my labor. that and my pure stubbornness. I told her it'd be a while and we would call her when i couldn't talk during contractions.
Well.. i'm not much of a talker. At least when I'm managing pain. I'm pretty sure i took 20 showers, rocked, swayed, countered pressured, did yoga breathing and got into our hot tub.
Which ended up with me getting my butt fully kicked by contractions. I thought the water would be relieving. Big Fat NO.
I couldn't talk all of sudden. It was almost as if I reverted inside my mind with each contraction because the took all my concentration and energy. It was then i realized I wanted and needed Amber and I vaguely remember Pat calling or texting her.
We had been told in bradley classes that you could tell at what point in labor a woman was by how much she talked and how many clothes she had one.
Neither of those were a blip on my radar.
Nor did I care at that point. The party was officially starting and i knew i was going to be holding a baby with in that hour. I ended up having to make a choice that's difficult for a neurotic control freak like me; i gave up control and let my body take over. I listen to it and responded. I trusted it and it didn't fail me. Shortly after Amber got to our house she asked to check me and all i remember from that was her going "Welp, that's a head." :) With a change of position and gentle coaching from her, we had a baby just a short 20(ish) minutes after she arrived. She went right to my chest. Skin to skin.
A healthy baby girl, weighing in a 7 lbs 11oz and 18 inches in length. Wide eyed and bewildered at her sudden change in environment. What blew my mind is how GOOD i felt afterwards. Energized and refreshed. The clean up was simple, And Amber was a calming and comforting presence the entire time. After a shower and a change of comforting clothes and sheets, Ruby, Pat and I snuggled into bed and visitors started to arrive. Just a handful. Then the boys got to meet her.
A few of my favorite memories from that day are these:
Hearing the pride and happiness in Pat's voice the last moments of labor as he cheered me on and encouraged me. His voice i will always be able to remember and it still makes my heart leap after three years.
Seeing the way my dad looked at my daughter.
My mom's surprise that Amber wasn't a withered old hippie with a mirror skirt and a gray braid to her butt.
and seeing my boys' meet their sister.
....and learning to nurse. I decided to make that my only option and successfully did it for 2 years. It ended with her self weening and i still miss the closeness and the ability to provide for her in that sense.
I took away a lot from that experience. Mainly that women's bodies are amazingly designed. We can not only house a baby for a little under a year but we are also able to handle an amount of pain thats comparable to 22 bones breaking. We can also sustain and provide life a tiny human that depends on us. We are one of the few creatures in nature that our off spring are completely helpless for the first year or so of its life.
OUR BODIES ARE AWESOME. i am so thankful i decided to trust my instinct and walk out of that doctors office. I am also thankful that i met Amber and that she said yes.
